Supreme
Court Justice
Receives Extreme Makeover |
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| Supreme
Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg has undergone extensive
cosmetic surgery. "We wanted to give Ms. Ginsburg
a hipper, fresher more vital look and I think we succeded,"
said Dr. Bob Freebush. Freebush is a Washington D.C.
plastic surgeon who headed up the team of surgeons that
performed the three day surgery on justice Ruth Bader
Ginsburg. |
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| Ms.
Ginsburg, a Democrat and leading feminist thinker, was
appointed to the high court by Hillary Clinton in 1993. |
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| From
the guys who brought us 911... |
| A
Plan to Secure our Borders |
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The
Departments of State and Homeland Security announced the Western
Hemisphere Travel Initiative. The initiative is also known
as the Passport Marketing Act of 2005.
All US Citizens who plan to travel outside the United States
will now need a passport. Effective 12-31-05, a US citizen
must present a passport for all air and sea travel between
the US and the Caribbean, Bermuda, Central America, and South
America. Effective 12-31-06, a US citizen must present a passport
for all air and sea travel between the US and Mexico or Canada
as well, and by 12-31-07, all travel in and out of the US,
via air, sea, or land, will require a passport.
"The Bill will in no way affect the thousands who illegally
pour across our southern borders each day," said U.S.
Attorney General Alberto Gonzales. |
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does not retain your personal information.
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| Statistics
that Shape our World |
|
Top Ten Jackson Jokes |
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| According
to Web Usage Associates (and Public Notary), the following
ten Michael Jackson Jokes are the most popular with Americans. |
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Q:
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery
bag?
A: One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous
for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries
in.

Q: How can you tell if Michael Jackson has a hot date?
A: There's a big wheel parked outside his house.

Q: Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year
olds?
A: Because there are twenty of them.

Q: Who does Michael Jackson consider a Perfect "10"?
A: Two 5 year olds.

Q: How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
A: From a catalogue.

Q: Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men??
A: He thought it was a delivery service.

Prince Michael Jackson, Jr. --- you know in a few years they'll
probably change his name to: The Child Formerly Known as Michael
Jackson's Baby

Q: What has 18 balls and 3 pubic hairs?
A: A Michael Jackson slumber party.

Q: Did you know they're putting out a Michael Jackson
stamp?
A: Fans get to vote for the white or black Michael
Jackson.

Q: What's brown and often found in a baby's diaper?
A: Michael Jackson's hand. |
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Los
Angeles, CA Mexico |
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An
LA based immigration activist group is crowing about a billboard
on the Los Angeles freeway system which has "CA"
(for California) crossed out and replaced with the word "Mexico."
The billboard is the property of Clear Channel who owns hundreds
of radio stations and has recently put a "Multicultural
Sales and Marketing Initiative" in place to expand their
share of the growing Hispanic market.
Ah, life's ironies . . . this is the same company that has
a bunch of drive time Talk Show hosts (like KFI's John and
Ken) across the country screaming about the Bush administration's
proposed Guest Worker Program and organizing marches on Washington. |
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| Slick's
Picks |
| Web
Sites to Amuse, Entertain, Educate and Revolt You |
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Reason
#89
Why the British Empire Crumbled. |
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Bush
Pushes for
New National Holiday |
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| President
Bush will ask Congress to designate Cinco De Mayo a National
Holiday. "Si, I will,"said the Chief Executive,
"I'm a uniter, not a divider. It will be good for our
avocado growers and breweries while honoring the newest members
of the GOP. Besides," he added, "who doesnt
like tequila and loud Mexican music?" |
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| George
Bush denies that criticism from Democrats has made him cranky. |
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