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| Ask
Doctor Clintstein . . . |
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Albert
Clintstein, the world's
most intelligent human being... |
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| We
urge our Legislators: |
| Enact
These "Laws to Live By" |
| From
the Code of Dalton |
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Selling, transporting, or possessing any packaged foodstuff
with the word "Helper" in its name is a felony. |
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Ordering a decaf espresso is a misdemeanor. |
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Blaming one's flatulence on a household pet is a misdemeanor. |
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Saying, "But you have such a pretty face"
to a fat woman is a felony. |
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Any uncle requesting a nephew or niece to "pull
my finger" shall have committed a misdemeanor. |
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Anyone referring to their aunt as their "awnt"
has committed a misdemeanor. |
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Newscasters who pronounce a Spanish word with a heavy
Spanish accent in the middle of an English sentence
are guilty of a misdemeanor. |
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Any man trying to impress a woman by saying, "I
rent my furniture for tax purposes" has committed
a misdemeanor. |
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Putting initials after one's name that indicate rank
or professional degree is a misdemeanor. |
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Anyone holding a Ph.D. who insists upon being addressed
as "Doctor" is guilty of a felony. |
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It shall be illegal for any male to describe himself
as a feminist. |
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Money
Talks . . .
Ours Tells Jokes |
| Get
yours now! |
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|
Including
the
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Governator bill! |
|
| See
our entire bill catalog |
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| SHARE
THE LAUGHS |
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Slick.com
does not retain your personal information. We never
sell, rent, trade or give your information to a third
party. |
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| Border
Protest Bills . . . Get'em Now! |
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| Are
you ready for the adventure of a lifetime? |
|
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| TRY
THIS IN MEXICO |
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Enter Mexico illegally. Never mind immigration quotas,
visas, international law, or any of that nonsense. |
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Once there, demand that the local government provide
free medical care for you and your entire family. |
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Demand bilingual nurses and doctors. |
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Demand free bilingual local government forms, bulletins,
etc. Procreate abundantly. |
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Deflect any criticism of this allegedly irresponsible
reproductive behavior with, "It is a cultural U.S.A.
thing. You would not understand, pal." |
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Keep your American identity strong. Fly Old Glory from
your rooftop, or proudly display it in your front window
or on your car bumper. |
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Speak only English at home and in public and insist
that your children do likewise. |
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Demand classes on American culture in the Mexican school
system. |
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Demand a local Mexican driver license. This will afford
other legal rights and will go far to legitimize your
unauthorized, illegal, presence in Mexico. |
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Drive around with no liability insurance and ignore
local traffic laws. |
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Insist that local Mexican law enforcement teach English
to all its officers. |
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| Good
luck! You'll be demanding for the rest of time or soon
be dead. Because it will never happen. It will not happen
in Mexico or any other country in the world except right
here in the United States. Land of the naive! |
|
|
| Border
Protest Bills . . . Get'em Now! |
| |
| Telling
it like it is! |
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| To
the wine-guzzling, cheese eating, hairy legged, personal hygiene-abhorring,
terrorist-appeasing, Euro Trash wimps who pussyfoot around
the radical Islam issue and want to make nice with the Arab
world . . . America has stepped up to the plate and is protecting
your sorry asses . . . without us your women will be wearing
burkas and smelling like goats within a generation. Okay,
the only change would be the wearing of burkas . . . |
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| What
Hillary Problem? |
|
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| The
burning question is can you say President Hillary Rodham Clinton
without feeling queasy? |
| Order
Yours Now |
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How a Bill
Becomes A Law
by Coach John Madden
Illustrations by Mike Brown |
|
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| OK. Here's Congressman Smart. He's
from Green Bay, and he's a tough guy. He's always been
. . . continued
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| Now
here's a bumper sticker we'd like to see |
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| Science
Finds a Cause |
Does
your language
lack color? |
|
Do
people yawn while you are speaking? Do their eyes glaze over
in mid-sentence? Are you continually asked "Did you say
something"?
If so, you may be one of millions of Americans who suffers
from CLDD or Colorful Language Deficit Disorder. |
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| Rock
Legend |
| Phil
Spector |
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We
assume he will
eventually enter an
insanity plea. |
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Researchers
have found that this newly identified ailment is particularly
prevalent among Whites, older Americans of all races and ethnicities
as well as accountants and computer programmers. Doctor Felix
Munoz, head of the research team at the National Center for
Linguistic Forensics said, "An alarming number of Americans
simply cannot turn a colorful phrase. CLDD impacts the quality
of life for all Americans", he added.
Fortunately, effective treatment options are available. As
a first step in beating this disorder, Dr. Munoz recommends
memorizing colorful phrases and similes to work into your
speech. Click Here |
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| Slick's
Picks |
| Web
Sites to Amuse, Entertain, Educate and Revolt You |
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See
our new
Border Bill here |
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From
the guys who
brought us 911... |
A
Plan to
Secure our Borders |
| |
Supreme
Court
Justice Receives
Extreme Makeover |
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GO
TO
PAGE 2 –> |
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